Weird and Funny Story

You might like it. This is hilarious... ..even
an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.
Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....
1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took  a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven.  Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6.  He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Very Funny Video: Apple I-Pad

Muthu Lame Jokes

MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*

Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
*****

MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*

The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O- X.'
*****

MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. . that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
*****

MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said , 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
*****

MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
*****

MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive.'
*****

MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard

'* WASH BASIN * '
*****

MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '
*****

*the funniest....*

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????? ???
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!

Some jokes to brighten your day!‏

Some jokes to brighten your day...

> Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about
> what had happened in the past.
> Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
> Teacher: Why?
> Student: There is no future in it.
> .................................................................
>
> Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
> would your father still have?
> Ted: $10.
> Teacher: You don't know maths.
> Ted: You don't know my father!
> ........................................... ..........................
>
> Mother: David, come here.
> David: Yes, mum?
> Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
> David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
> Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
> scolding you now.
> ......................................................................
>
> Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
> Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
> Father: So?
> Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
> If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
> .....................................................................
>
> A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
> Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
> breaking plates,
> Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
> Daughter: It's mummy!
> Father: How do you know?
> Daughter: She didn't say anything.
> ......................................................................
>
> Girl: Do you love me?
> Boy: Yes Dear
> Girl: Would you die for me?
> Boy: No, mine is undying love
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> Man: How old is your father?
> Boy: As old as me
> Man: How can that be?
> Boy: He became a father only when I was born
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
> ------------------------------------------
>
> Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
> your?/FONT>brother's. Did u copy his?
> Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
> Son: That's why I say she's no good!
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> Teacher: "Where were u born?"
> Student: " Malaysia , Sir."
> Teacher: "Which part?"
> Student: "All of me, Sir."
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between
> 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
> "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
> "'Unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and
> 'ill-egal' is a sick eagle."
> ---------------------------------------------------
>
> Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
> Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
> Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
> Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> A boy came home from school with his exam results.
> "What did u get?" asked his father.
> "My marks are under water," said the boy.
> "What do u mean 'under water'?"
> "They are all below 'C' level"

My Blog has been Hacked

This is what I see when I browse through my blog. Who is the one that fool me today! I have never been fooled on the internet! Only I fool people!

A Virgin Joke

This virgin girl is
on
the phone and
asks her boyfriend to come

over and have dinner with her
parents.
Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces
to her
boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like
to go out
and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but
he has
never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to
the
pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the
pharmacist
it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy
for about
an hour.

He tells the boy everything
there is to
know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the
pharmacist asks
the
boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-
pack,
10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the
family
pack
because he

thinks he will be rather busy,
it being
his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up
at the
girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend
at the
door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my
parents,
come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is
taken to the
dinner table

where the girl's parents are
seated.
The
boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows
his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy
is still
deep in prayer,
with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no
movement
from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with
his head
down, the

girlfriend leans over and
whispers to
the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this
religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers
back, "I
had
no idea your
father was a pharmacist."

* * * * * * * * *

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

And …here is the reply… :-

Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager