The Truth About Female Orgasm

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I mustn't been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Can I Borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Please don't break this even if you only send it to one person. Thanks

HATE letter

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him and want them stop their relationship. .....and so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning: only to read lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23 and 25 (odd numbers). So, please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet.

My one eyed Mom Story

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment.

She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.



There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to

say hello to me.



I was so embarrassed.



How could she do this to me?

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, 'EEEE, your mom

only

has one eye!'



I wanted to bury myself.

I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

I confronted her that day and said, ' If you're only goanna make

me a

laughing stock, why don't you just die?'



My mom did not respond...

I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because

I was full of anger.

I was oblivious to her feelings.



I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married.

I bought a house of my own.

I had kids of my own.

I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my

mother came to visit me.

She

hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her

grandchildren.



When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at

her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, 'How dare you come to my house and scare my

children!'

GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!'



And to this, my mother quietly answered, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. I may

have

gotten the wrong address,'

and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.



So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.





My neighbours said that she died.

I did not shed a single tear.

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.



'My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and

scared your children.

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.

But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.

I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were

growing up.



You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and

lost your eye.

As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you

having to grow up with one eye.

So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my

place, with that eye.



With all my love to you,

Your mother.





Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day

will be their last, or your own.



Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones

because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive

will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but

will never find closure. And closure usually brings

peace...

Men Are Hard To Please

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are from village.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!


SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......

but if u don't they say u are selfish.....

Why guys like girls

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore' even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'

18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

24. The way you miss them

25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not.
Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.Only felt.

How a kiss really works

The Kiss

1. Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3. Kiss on the neck
I want you

4. Kiss on the lips
I love you

5. Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6. Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8. Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go


The Three Steps

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3. Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.


The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.


* Remember *
A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
Without some tongue.
So open up your mouth
close your eyes,
and give your tongue
some exercise!!!

Girls privacy. No boys please

WARNING. If you are a boy, then you are not allowed to read this. Sorry for everything.





Did you know kissing is healthy?

Bananas are good for cramps


It's good to cry


Chicken soup actually makes you feel better


94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers


Lying is actually unhealthy


Only apply mascara to your top lashes


It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you!


Its impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed!(If you are not thinking about it)


89% of guys want YOU to make the 1st move.


Chocolate will make you feel better!


Most boys think its cute when you say the wrong thing


A GOOD FRIEND NEVER JUDGES


A good foundation will hide hickeys! Not that you have any.


Boys aren't worth your tears,


We ALL love surprises!!

45 things a girl wants but won't ask for

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.


KEEP READING


1 1. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her
more
than you, deny it. fight back and hug
her tight so she can't get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved.


Ar e you thinking of someone?


16. Always hug her and say I love you
whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the
waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about
her.


One last thing you need to do to show
her you actually do mean it.


21. Open doors for her, walk her to her
car- it makes her feel protected, plus
it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything -
only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something
wrong, ask her- if she denies something
being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25-kiss her in front of OTHER girls you
know!!!!*


WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26-don't lie to HER.*
27-DON'T cheat on her.*
28-take her ANYWHERE she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day at
work {or school}, and how much you
MISS her.
30-be there for her when ever she needs
you, & even when she doesn't need you,
just be there so she'll know that she
can ALWAYS count on you.*


ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT


31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close
and kiss her.*
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will
give
her the hint that you want to kiss
her).*
34 . While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automaticall y put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin
up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes
upset, comfort her.


REME MBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT


36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.*
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her
you love her.*
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her
head on your chest so she can listen to
the steady beat of your heart, Link
your
fing ers together while you whisper to
her as she rests her eyes and listens
to
you .
39. When walking next to each other
grab
her HAND.*
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible*


MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED


41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS*
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.*
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love
her.*
45. sit on top of her and tell her how
much u love her and then bend down to
her face and kiss her while sitting on
her.

How to be a super boyfriend

When she walks away from you mad [ Follow her ]

When she stares at your mouth [ smile...then kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you [ hug her tight ]

When she starts cursing at you [ say i love you ]

When she's quiet [ hold her hand and ask what's wrong ]

When she ignores you [ act cute so she'll notice you ]

When she pulls away [ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst [ tell her you love her and she still looks amazing ]

When you see her start crying [hold her...ask her what's wrong]

When you see her walking [ approach her..give a kiss on the cheek. ]

When she's scared [assure her you're not goin to leave her ]

When she lays her head on your shoulder [ tilt your head too..and hold her hand ]

When she steals your favorite hat [ let her keep it]

When she teases you [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time [ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt [ Back yourself up ]

When she says that she likes you [ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grabs at your hands [ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]

When she bumps into you [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret [ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes [ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you [ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart [ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over [ she still wants you to be hers ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you:

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick. - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid. - Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"